To Think A Thought So Deep
A Postpartum Prayer
To think a thought so deep it pierces your conscious
Overriding all your moral codes, your body is on over drive
What does postpartum feel like?
It feels like the body’s ultimate betrayal.
A system that once grew and nurtured a human being now ceases to care for it properly
But if my little one could speak she would testify in favour of me
Knowing I fought through the mental hurdles just so she could feed & grow peacefully
If any conclusion is to be obtained, it’s that God wanted it the very way.
“Now are you even a good mum if the baby isn’t breastfed?
Doesn’t matter if you’re an under supplier it’s a sign of negligence.
And who did you let into your home again?
Beware of the silent enemies that whisper in despise, they work with CPS on their side.
Secretly judging the home you so carefully curated, with minimal resources & divine provision.”
So why is my brain wired this way? Why don’t you recall things well?
Postpartum memory loss. Or something like that….half of my mind was left beside that labour ward, along with the corpse of the old me.
“If I write a letter to the one I love, do you reckon he would understand me? Or would I remain a champion in his eyes, a hero that helps fulfill his dreams, of carefully breeding & raising his seed.”
To think a thought so deep it consumes me.
stunning work, ches.
💕👏👏